


Classic Misuse of a Veto

by ladyemmaline



Series: Baby (and Space Wolf (and Many Lizards)) On Board [1]
Category: Star Wars: Campaign Podcast
Genre: Gen, Parenting Challenges, Parenting Your Space Teen, Twelve Years in the Future
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-27
Updated: 2017-09-27
Packaged: 2019-01-06 05:40:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 884
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12204999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyemmaline/pseuds/ladyemmaline
Summary: Teenaged Tamlin attempts to sneak back onto the Mynock after engaging in some undisclosed activities. Bacta attempts to emulate his parenting books, Leenik is very upset and then very proud, and Tryst derails the whole conversation.





	Classic Misuse of a Veto

**Author's Note:**

  * For [startledredhead](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=startledredhead).



Tamlin looked up at the silent form of The Mynock in front of him. It was just past 1 am on Corellia and Tamlin had successfully snuck past the parking garage attendant at the front entrance. With any luck, the only one of his uncles still awake would be Bacta, who would almost certainly be cleaning his guns in the kitchen. If Tamlin could sneak in through Bacta’s crow’s nest, he could make it back to his canopied bunch without anyone knowing he was gone.

Tamlin walked over to the hull of the Mynock. He closed his eyes, focusing deeply, and jumped, his feet lifting off the ground and floating upwards until his hands found a good grip on the outside of the crow’s nest. He reached around, groping for the secret handle Bacta had installed the third time Leenik had locked them all outside the ship. He eased the handle open and shimmied in the window, pulling the window closed after himself. There was no light coming up from the room below and Tamlin breathed a sigh of relief, nudging a lizard away from the ladder. Tamlin crept down the ladder; the moment his foot touched the floor of the main cabin of the ship, someone behind him cleared their throat and he froze.

Turning around slowly, Tamlin was greeted with the sight of Leenik, in a pink robe with his hair up in curlers, Tryst, in his most intimidating kimono, and Bacta, tapping his foot against the floor,  staring at him from across the room.

“Where,” Bacta growled, “were you, Tamlin?”

“Uhhh,” Tamlin stalled, eyes darting around the room.

“I know that you’re seventeen now and that you’re a very mature, trustworthy, young Dathomirian,” Bacta sounded like he had practiced this bit, or possibly pulled it from the copy of _Parenting Your Space Teen_ that he kept in his gun locker, “but what could you possibly have been doing?”

“Uhhhhhhh,” Tamlin kept stalling.

“Tamlin!”

“Were you out having sex?” Tryst interjected.

Leenik gasped. “I veto Tamlin having sex! He is a _baby!_ ”

“Leenik!” Tryst snapped. “That is a _classic_ misuse of a veto. You forfeit your next veto. The only person who can veto Tamlin having sex is him. And his indeterminate number of partners.” Leenik began tearing up. “And me, because I am the Sex Emperor of this ship.”

Leenik choked and Bacta interrupted, “you are absolutely not the sex emperor of anything.”

“I won that contest!”

Everyone carefully avoided looking at the medal dangling from the rear view mirror. Every few months Bacta or Lyn attempted to hide it somewhere on the ship because the engravings that surrounded the words “Sex Emperor” were, frankly, obscene.

“That medal,” Bacta argued, “gives you NO power on this ship!”

Tamlin attempted to use this opportunity to edge his way back up the ladder to the crow’s nest, but Bacta’s head whipped around as soon as he began to move.

“ _You,_ ” he said, “stay where you are! This conversation is _not_ over.”

Leenik sunk into a chair and Tony leaned his head on his knee.

“Promise me you’ll never do this to me, Tony.” Tony wagged his tail in response.

“Look, we don’t even know if Tamlin was having sex. Maybe he was doing drugs!” Tryst clapped Leenik on the shoulder.

Leenik looked, if possible, even more distressed. Bacta’s face turned white and he growled, “Tamlin _cannot_ do drugs. We have talked about this, you are _not_ allowed to do drugs.”

Tamlin interjected, frustrated, “We _sell_ drugs! We do that! Why is that the worst case scenario here!”

“Hey,” Tryst said, pointing his index finger at Tamlin. “We _smuggle_ drugs. We’re the middleman, it’s totally different. We’re 100% not responsible for what happens when we drop them off.”

“I wasn’t doing drugs!”

“Tamlin, you need to be honest with us here: were you having sex or doing drugs?”

“Neither!”

“A likely story!”

“It’s nothing bad!”

“Then why wouldn’t you tell us about it before you went! Or called us on the comms! Or done literally anything other than sneaking in through Bacta’s crow’s nest like a _criminal_.” Leenik shrieked.

“Leenik, _we’re_ criminals!” Tamlin pointed out.

“We’re heroes! We are brave and heroic!”

Tamlin looked down and scuffed his foot on the floor. “Anyway, it’s private!”

“So it IS a sex thing!” Tryst looked smug and then slightly distressed.

“Tamlin,” Bacta growled, “unless you tell us where you were, you are… you are grounded, do you hear me?”

“You are grounded from ice cream!” Leenik added.

Tamlin rolled his eyes, “I’m 17, not 7.”

“I hate being grounded from ice cream!” Leenik sniffed.

“Look, I didn’t want you guys to follow me because I knew if you knew where I was going you’d be _really_ embarrassing about it, ok? Can I just veto this conversation?”

“Classic misuse of a--”

Bacta smacked Tryst on the arm and interrupted. “Where were you, Tamlin? Please, just tell us. And then we can all go to bed.”

Tamlin sighed and pulled out the small object he had been carrying. He tossed it across the room to Leenik, who fumbled it for a second. Leenik picked up the medal and read the engraving on it.

“First Place, Corellia City Youth Poetry Slam.” And with that, Leenik actually burst into tears.

**Author's Note:**

> This fic takes place 12 years in the future (from the beginning of the podcast). I'm only up to Episode 40 so apologies if there's anything that's explicitly contradicted in later episodes. This entire fic was written around the "sex emperor" bit.
> 
> Leenik is overjoyed that Tamlin has inherited his interest in poetry, considering that Tony refuses to write any. Tamlin won the poetry slam with some very angsty poems that he will be embarrassed by in five years. Bacta puts the medal in a shadowbox on the wall of the Mynock.


End file.
